The Price We Pay

   Well, I'm slowly getting back into my groove of at-home bedrest.  This morning I'm getting a break thanks to a great friend (who already has 7 children of her own) who is taking all three kids through the lunch hour.  I am enjoying the peace, and I tend to stay put and rest when I'm here by myself! 
   Something that has been on my mind since I was off the magnesium and could collect some thoughts, is the idea of all the sacrifice I am making for one child while three children suffer.  Now, I know my three kids aren't truly "suffering"...these kids have had more McDonald's Happy Meals, candy, cookies, ice cream, toys, sleepovers,etc... than their next 5 Christmases will bring them, but even though they are getting all these great "things" they are not satisfied without the love (physical and emotional) that comes from their Mommy.  I don't really think we have ever spoiled our kids with "things", but I'm learning more and more each day that as parents the physical, spiritual, and emotional security we can give our kids has a far greater impact on them than we'd like to think.  These "things" that have been substituting for me lately are so temporary, and that has become so evident over these past two weeks.  Those things get played with a little, but any opportunity for my attention has them smiling.   I have just felt so bad in this last week, esp. for Brooklyn, when they want my attention, or "Mommy come see this", that I just can't pop up every time to run to see what's "so important" to them.  I feel like I continue to be put in a situation with them where I'm communicating that this baby is more important than them...they're not even gonna like this kid by the time it gets here...and the distratction of attention has only just begun!
   However, I know that I am doing the right thing, and this baby is a part of our family and we're working hard to get him/her here!  I remember telling my OB we were going to start trying to have another baby (this one) and the first thing he said was "The best gift you can give your children is more siblings."  He's right.  Although the kids don't understand all of this now; and despite their own frustrations and the lack of attention, one day this baby will be one of their best friends and someone who will be with them forever!  And I know this baby will just bring an overwhelming joy to our household (wow, this kid has a lot to live up to!!).
   Well, keeping it kind of short today.  Loving that summer is right around the corner and we will be able to be outside and exhaust the kids!  Looking forward to another day!  Take care.