Blessings

One of the first things Savannah said to me this morning was, "Mommy, baby coming out?"  I think she is just as anxious as me to meet this little one.  It's so hard to wait for a surprise or a special gift...we always want to know what's inside...what are we going to get?   I am  now 36 weeks and 4 days...so exciting!  I know the end is coming, I just hope baby knows he/she can only hide up there only a little while longer and eventually he/she will have to get his/her stubborn self out of there.  I just keep praying that he/she will see the light and bolt towards it!!   
  I spent the evening by myself going to the store after a long (but good) day with the kids.  I realized as I drove to the store belting out praise music in the car that this might be one of the last evenings I am able to really spend alone for awhile.   On the way home I stopped at Steak 'N Shake and got a milkshake for Cade and I...mmmmm, it was good.  I also came to the realization that these will be the last days I can just stop for burgers, milkshakes, and fountain Cokes.  It won't be long before I'm eating carrot sticks, fruit, and drinking only water, trying to shed these pounds...but in the meantime, I think I'll enjoy these last little cravings!
   The more I've spoken to people the last couple of days, the more I have thought about what God is really trying to show me through this never-ending pregnancy!  Over the last three days, I feel like I've finally come to terms with the fact that God is ultimately in control.  I'm not trying so hard anymore to make baby come, but have really tried to lavish in the time He's given me with the three precious babies I have in front of me.  I've taken the time to play games, read books, get in the pool, and pitch balls, all because I want each of them to know how much I love them, and to not ever think this new baby will replace that love.  It's been so good spending my days just enjoying each of them and their unique personalities. 
    Recently, I heard of the song Blessings by Laura Story.  This song is really reflective of how God teaches us through difficult times and how He shows us His mercy and grace when He doesn't always answer our prayers the way we would like.  In the last few days, I've really seen how God might be working for a reason to keep this baby toasting a little longer.   I am trying to see the goodness in this waiting game instead of the frustration and demand of keeping my legs shaved!   Really, James 1:2-5 says,
  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you      know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

God has definitely produced some perseverance in me and our entire family.  He has matured my faith and given me no excuse why leaning into Him and the power of prayer should ever be doubted.  I am sure I am still lacking wisdom that will come through other valleys I will face in the future, but I know now to only make sure I'm relying on Him and not my own strategy, agenda, or comforts.  Our trials come in many circumstances, events, time periods, and are, of course, mostly unpredictable.  They don't always initially bring out the best in us or bring us to our knees right away.  Whatever difficulty that comes in our way as a family, from now on, will be seen as a time to see God's hand working in our lives, and not a time to huddle up and figure out our next move.  I know I have mentioned this earlier, but hopefully this whole experience is simply a way to teach our children God's perfect timing and that He has a plan for each of us.
  Well, I head to the doctor again this Friday.  Hopefully I will get a better idea of where baby is and how I am possibly progressing.  I am looking forward to a pool playdate tomorrow with a friend...it has actually been fun to make plans and I'm trying not to be so cautious about where I am...I really am letting go of that control (but there is a hospital within 10 min.).  I hope anyone reading this can take the time to check out the YouTube video of the song Blessings.  If you're going through a trial now, know prayer is essential, and even if God isn't answering in a way that fits your fancy, there are blessings in the raindrops and through your tears...His mercy and love endure.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mmgV6mPvb0&NR=1,
Have a great rest of the week...love, Jill