Wow, I can't believe tomorrow we start school. I'm a little nervous about what the year will bring. Homeschooling was never on my radar when we planned to have a family, but here we are! Even though I have the first day jitters, I'm pretty excited to get things underway. I'm praying this is a great opportunity to give our family back some structure since Ellie's been born. We're so close to getting back into routine and back in a rhythm. It's been a crazy summer, and I'm honestly not sure where it went? I'm also praying that this is a time that I can grow closer to Brooklyn. The poor girl is dying for my attention, and I know as much as she loves her siblings, she really needs that one-on-one time with me. I'm hoping this will be times of positive reinforcement and that God gives me grace in all circumstances...especially in this first week. It will be challenging to play both the teacher role and Mommy role, but I've watched many moms do it, so I know there will be a way.
Through all of the decisions we have made over the past year, I'm so thankful that Cade has jumped on board with everything. I know he was hesitant at first, but I am grateful he considered my concerns and desires and took the time to talk with other homeschool husbands, and even attended the Homeschool Convention! I think we both know this is a trial year and one year at time is what we've agreed to...and even if I have them home for one more year, I'm thankful (but don't ask me about that in January!). I'm also happy my family has responded well. I know not everyone thinks we're making the "right" decision, but everyone has been supportive, so I hope they will see the fruit. I hope the see the confidence that needs to build up in Brooklyn...and I hope we can all help her become who God has intended for her to be!
On an unrelated note, these last couple weeks I've seen and heard of a lot of tragedy. I know all of the families who are suffering (although not well), but all have involved children. It has made me appreciate my own children, but I feel so much guilt. God has given me such a gift in my children and I'm not always sure I take care of that gift the way He had intended. In all transparency, I don't think I'll be winning the "Patient Mom of the Year" award and I'm glad I was recently reminded about the gift of grace. So many children are effected by the loss of a parent, or parents are effected by the loss or illness of children. I'm so blessed to have healthy children...they're here right in front of me...I need to take advantage of that. Yes, they need to learn to play independently...have imaginations, etc., etc, etc...BUT I need to BE with them. I need to take more opportunities to read to them, play a game, draw a picture, give a hug, a smooch, and affirm them--tell them I love them and tell them Jesus loves them. I want to be a woman of grace and excellence...a woman my children look at and want to be near...and I still have some work to go in this area. I have been praying for my friends who have or are suffering loss in their lives right now. I'm praying that they heal quickly, knowing that life here is not our home. And although their loss or trial is difficult, it has been used to show people like me that our life here is temporary and not only will I and my children be gone, but that knowing that, I have little time to show my children love so that I might leave an eternal legacy for them...leaving something to them that is more important than Disney world, game systems, or the size of our house. I hope that on the day that we part, whenever that may be, that they knew Christ because they saw Him in me.
Well, when I started blogging tonight I didn't think I'd have much to say. I was excited to begin a new week and a new adventure. I guess I've been thinking a lot this week too. God has definitely put a lot on my heart and probably in good timing--starting tomorrow I have the opportunity to really have an impact in the lives of my children. I hope He will be glorified in all of it!
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