God as Father

   I welcome the new day...it's beautiful this morning.  I feel like life has been out of control lately.  The kids seem to have forgotten what it means to obey the first time they're asked, what it means to be kind to one another, and how to serve one another and help around the house.  To be honest, I've felt like a failure.  I feel like the tone of my voice is angry and I have been less than Christ's example of love for my children.  How will they know Him if I'm not reflecting who He really is?  I want so much for them to know Him, but I feel like I am holding them back...they are a reflection of me, and I'm not being a reflection of Him.

  When I woke up this morning, I appreciated that it was a day to start over.  Each day His mercies are anew, and this morning I realized mine were too for my children.  I wanted to give them a fresh start, a day to have another chance to do the right things and feel forgiven.  The more I learn and grow as a parent, the more I feel like I understand God.  I think every parent could tell you that as soon as they become pregnant or deliver and see their new baby, they have a better understanding of Christ's overwhelming love.  You would do anything for that child to protect them, and you desire the best for their life.  I want the best for my children...not in terms of materialism, vacations, etc..., but to help them understand how to invest for their eternal lives by building relationships, serving others, and giving generously.  So, my frustrations come from times when I feel like we're teaching  and modeling those things, and the fruit is slow to grow.

  I think God sent Jesus so He would understand us, and I think He gave us children so we would understand Him.  I spend every day wondering why I can't get through to my kids...why don't they want to give to each other instead of being selfish and teasing; why don't they obey immediately instead of trying to find their way around their chores or the task at hand; and why is everything ever enough?  But the more I have thought about this, aren't I like that with God?  I'm always wanting more, and life's circumstances have never been "perfect" enough for me.  God has made many roads clear, and I have clearly chosen at times to follow down a different path, thinking my way was best.  And, I have certainly been selfish with my time and possessions with friends, my spouse, and my children.  Isn't God exhausted and tired of me?  But like I said earlier, His mercies are new every day and I feel that.  I feel forgiven, and loved, and like I get to start over.  And I want to be that way for my children.

  Parenting definitely gets more and more challenging every day.  And we only have 4 kids...I can't imagine the exhaustion God feels!  I guess what I'm trying to say, and what I learning, is that when I'm so frustrated with my kids, it's an opportunity to pray.  It's time to think about what I've done and where I've fallen and how I've been forgiven.  It's a chance to give my kids the grace they deserve because I've been overwhelmed by that grace time and time again.  I hope in recognizing this I can become a better mom and a better reflection of Christ...the Christ I want my kids to know and see in me.