Could Be A Great Day!

Wow!  Ambien is such a beautiful drug!!  Although I only slept 5 1/2 hrs., they were solid and I feel so good!  Plus, I have a good feeling I will be going home today.  I "shrunk" back to 5 cm and have not really had any contractions.  Hopefully this is the last time I go home and hopefully the next time I come in, it's for real...I'm really starting to wonder if a baby actually exists....you too?
   Despite the fact that this pregnancy has been everything from "ideal", I still feel privelaged as a woman to carry a baby and give birth.  It is such a beautiful thing to know that this little body is forming inside of me and through my own strength (and that of God, of course!) I will push this baby out into the world.  The more babies I see here at the hospital and on TLC (Baby Story), the more I look forwad to holding this precious little life and giving him/her as a gift to our children and family.  Again, despite the labor pains and discomfort, I am so thankful that God gave the role of child-bearing to women!
   I wonder how men would handle pregnancy and birth?  Even though Cade is so supportive and great during pregnancy, I can't help but think about the crazy things that he, and probably most men, think about as they watch us over these 9 months, and how much of it they don't understand or would care to endure.  Like the fact that through each pregnancy I have craved particular things that I've asked him to pick up for dinner on his way home from work....over 4 pregnancies it's been anything from Captain Crunch cereal, Noble Romans breaksticks and cheese, Starbucks Mochas, York Peppermint Patties, Fountain Cokes, McDonald's cheeseburgers, etc...He has also probably not grown particularky fond of "Patty"...my green body pillow that lays in between us every night (well, during pregnancy!)...if he only really understood the need for this essential item for pregnant women's sleep!  When I woke up the other night in the middle of the night, I almost laughed to myself trying to imagine a guy sleeping in this little bed with Tocos strapped across their bellies, IV's stuck in their arm, sleeping with "disposable" pillows, and on top of it all, being put on Magnesium...it made me chuckle.   And finally, I think many guys would freak out the moment they started feeling the baby move inside them or roll across their tummy.  The idea of feeling a foot lodged in their rib and to actually touch it and push it down, would easily weird them out...hahahah!   I don't mention all of this as a criticism to men at all.  Cade has always been supportive and a trooper during pregnancy as well as all of my friends' husbands...they're all great!  But I think as supportive as they are, they don't always envy the things our bodies have to go through to bring life into the world.  I really actually love how I see and feel Cade grow more in love with me through pregnancy.  I know he really respects what I endure for the love of our family...and in our particular situation it makes me respect and fall more in love with him as he so graciously steps up to the plate and out of his comfort zone to do the "Mr. Mom" role as well as keep up with being dad and doing work stuff.  I think we can both say the growing pains and labor pains of marriage don't always have to be painful, but a time for a marriage to grow stronger and taller above the difficulties life throws our way.  It's a time to be challenged and grow in our weaknesses and really thank God for the strengths He's given us...and to be thankful that He has probably given us a spouse who fills in the gaps where we are weak and to see God's blessing from our spouse's gifts.  For anyone reading this who isn't married, these are the qualities of a man/woman you want on your "checklist".  Yes, you want to be physically attracted to a man/woman; you want to know that they will be fun to travel with; and that they are financially secure; but, really, if you are unequally yoked in your walk with Christ, getting through situations such as these, dismisses all of these other qualities...those qualities can't bring you through, and they don't allow true joy to shine through the foggy or dark times.  Ok, off my soapbox!
   Over the last several weeks, I have prayed at times wondering why I am going through this.  I have days of real frustration and days I have just felt plain 'ol sorry for myself.   You would think after 3 kids I would have perfected how to deal with these circumstances, but God continues to see weak areas where I require sharpening.  As much as I don't want to go dull, the sharpening can be long process, but I've realized, even after baby comes, I will just continue to be sharpened in another area.  I have had to realize He's never done with us, but a lot of times I only realize that when things aren't going my way...when I'm uncomfortable, when I'm angry, in pain, lonely, etc...., but even in the victories and joyous occasions, He's there refining us, reminding that all things and circumstances are because of Him...He is in control.
  Well, hopefully I'll be heading home later this morning.  I can't wait to come back sometime in the next week or two and it actually be the real deal!  I can't wait to introduce you all to this crazy little baby who can't seem to make up his/her mind.  I can't wait to meet him/her and hold him/her in my arms.  I'm also a little excited that we will be doing things a little differently this time around.  In the past, Cade and I have preferred for the two of us to be alone during the birth.  However, this past fall, I had the privelage to help one of my best friends with her home birth.  It was such a beautiful thing to actually see the baby be born (and it wasn't on TV).  My mom and sister have always wanted to see one of our babies be born, and we have agreed that this time we would let them (assuming everyone can get here on time!).   I will never forget my own experience of watching a birth and I hope I can give them such a gift as well...hopefully soon!